


It’s Never Okay

by orphan_account



Series: Losers Oneshots [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Angst, Angst no-comfort, Definately Not a Fix-It, M/M, Regret, Richie’s pov during and after the final battle, Unrequited Love, bloody glasses, kinda??, older losers, we all know eddie loved him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 07:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20671208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Nothing is ever going to be okay again, Richie knows this.





	It’s Never Okay

Nothing is ever going to be okay again, Richie knows this. Eddie is gone and nothing is okay. Eddie is- was he reminds himself, the light of his life. Richie had lost him for so long and now he was gone forever. He always knew something was missing. Something that just eluded his memory, and- fuck, finding Eddie again had been the first time in decades that richie had felt whole, now he never will be. He can still remember the moment that bright light was snuffed out, far too soon. in that cavern under Neibolt, the air thick with dust and smelling of copper, Bev was covered in blood.

The whole scene is a blur, all of it except for a few painfully clear moments that he wishes he could forget. Eddie straddling him, It shoving its claw through eddie, the splatter of blood onto Richie's face, the left lense of his glasses completely covered. Eddie being swung around like a doll and eventually ending up on the floor across the room.

R+E, he thinks, so much for that right? He remembers the pain of getting up, but it's nothing compared to the pain of actually seeing Eddies breathing slow to a near stop. Everything after that is red, he thinks he rips It’s arm off, but he can't be sure. All he knows is that it's over and Eddie is nowhere in sight. He searches the cavern for a moment until he spots what he's looking for, and he runs back to Eddie, ready to tell him the good news, but the sight that greets him is grim. Eddie is pale, paler than Richie had ever seen him even in the cool blue light of the cavern, and Richie couldn't see the rise and fall of his chest. He tries to insist that they can still save him, but the other losers are worried that they won't make it up in time if they have to carry him. How can they just leave him? 

They do, and it is the single worst thing Richie has ever had to do. He claws and fights the whole way up, even, no- especially as Neibolt is collapsing. Eddie is down there! His eds, his spaghetti man, there is nothing that Richie wouldn't do just to see Eddie scowl at him one more time. At the quarry, Richie thinks that leaving Eddie was the second hardest thing he’s had to do, because surely the first is having to wipe Eddies blood off of his glasses. He loses it. Nothing is ever going to be okay again.

**Author's Note:**

> Uh-oh, I made myself sad, but I cant bring myself to be sad about it.. I live for angst.


End file.
